[setting: BP Station, 9 Mile & Dequindre – “pay by the hour” motel conveniently located right behind – man and woman approach]
Man: Sir, can you help us?
Me: What do you need?
Man: Me and my wife need to get a room for the night.
Me (looking at “wife”): Your wife…
Me: Why do you need a room?
Man: To get out of the weather.
Me: The weather… (it was 55 and clear)
Me [what I actually SAY]: Sorry, man, I can’t help you this time.
Me [what I’m thinking]: “Dude, maybe you should have factored in your “wife” and the “weather” before picking up those $150 shoes and that $45 hat”.
[Man and woman exit and hang out near dumpster at aforementioned motel]
[My partner approaches]
Partner: What was that all about?
Me: Dude needed money to get him and his “wife” a room for the night.
Partner: Maybe he should have thought of that before he bought those shoes and that hat.
I cannot make this stuff up.