60 Second Story: President Max

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Just read a story about a 14 year old kid who was stabbed in the chest by a guy that believed he had killed Martin Luther King Jr.

Which reminds me of the patient I had last night who thought I was “president Max”(?), “one of President Obama boys, you know, I met himi at the gas station”, knew Eminem and was a rapper on the verge of a million dollar record deal. The reason he *needed* the rap deal was because he “been runnin’ dope on the street and rippin’ off the SS ’cause I just lost my job at the gas station (where he met president Max, I presume).” But I was relieved to learn he “ain’t never caught no dope case” and also “can’t be clownin’ and catchin’ no felony”.

As interesting a fellow as my patient was, his “stupid-a** brother-in-law” would prove to be even more engaging. Although we never met face to face, he greeted me from behind the front door with, if memory serves, “WHO ROLLIN’ UP ON MY S***?”

(It was here I attempted to explain that we were EMS and we were attempting to bring his brother-in-law home, but he was unswayed)

“TAKE ANOTHER STEP, M****F****! I WILL SHOOT YOU THROUGH THIS GOD D*** DOOR! I AIN’T PLAYIN’, M****F****! I WILL BLOW YOUR GOD D*** HEAD OFF THROUGH THIS M**** F*****’ DOOR! WHO ROLLIN’ UP ON MY S***???”

He yelled some other stuff too, but I didn’t catch it all.

So, anyway, I hope that 14 year old kid is ok. Senseless.